I recently spent some time in Mexico and Central America, and am in the process of writing the story. I was going to try to get it published, but let's be serious, I am not getting this travesty published. So it will become what any failing writer's failed projects become, a blog. Enjoy.
Cancun is decadent. It's ridiculous. I met a girl there who thinks it's the greatest place on Earth. I disagree. Maybe when I was 19, but not 29. It was too much for me. Having said that, I had a lot of fun. I was very nearly arrested the first night. I was being dragged off by security before a girl came running over to explain things. I had already been warned twice not to swim in the pool, and had been threatened with arrest, when something I said compelled her to push me in. I don't even remember what it was. She felt so bad about the whole thing though, that she invited me up to her room, with her husband and friend, so they could get me so drunk I couldn't walk. A peace offering. I have no idea when I left, and I had no idea where I was going. All I remember about that part of the night is that I got very, very lost. I wandered around the resort for hours (probably less). I walked through door after door and never found my room. At the peak of desperation I walked through a door and found myself on the roof. "Fuck it" I thought, and laid down. The sun woke me up, beating down on me and the red roof I was curled up on. I went back inside and somehow found my room within minutes. I never did find that door again though, and still have no recollection of where I was. The second night I was up for an adventure. At some point I got bored and left the resort. I was looking for something a little more real. Something...Mexican. I came across a bum sitting outside a liquor store, drinking booze from a huge plastic bag. I sat down and it turned out he even spoke English. We had a grand time laughing and sharing his booze bag. When it was done I told him I was off for another adventure. He begged me to stay. "You'll be killed!" he exclaimed. "You can't just wander around alone!" I would have none of it. "Nothing will happen to me," I assured him. "I'm invincible." I staggered down the street and came to a huge tower. There was an outside elevator that went all the way around that people could ride to the top for a majestic view of Cancun's resort row. It was closed of course but I thought, "What a view it would be at night" so I broke in. There is no ladder inside. There is no way to get up or down if the elevator is broken. I don't know about you, but I think that's a safety issue. Disappointed that I couldn't climb a tower, I staggered on down the street. I saw a pizza delivery scooter and thought, "The only thing that could cheer me up right now is a taco." I approached the delivery guy and said, "I want you to take me to the best taco in Cancun." "You want a piece of pizza?" he replied."No. The best taco in Cancun. I'll give you twenty dollars."He jumped at that. We climbed onto Pablo's scooter, me squashed between him and the big wooden box on the back that he keeps the pizza in. Pablo cranked on the throttle and the little scooter shot off down the road, headed for old Cancun. The real, real Cancun. Mexico. We raced through city streets, weaving around cars, and sometimes in between them. A few times I thought my knees were going to hit their mirrors. Before long we pulled up to a crowded little stand. I told Pablo to order me two tacos, and get himself something too. I don't remember what was on them, but they were the best tacos I have ever had. We both got seconds. When we were done engorging ourselves I needed a drink. "Do you want some beer?" I asked. Pablo just shrugged and motioned me over to the little red rocket. We stopped at a gas station and grabbed a six pack, then headed back toward the resort to sit and drink. It was an uneventful ride back, other than the road block we came across while careening around a corner. Pablo thought fast and turned down the next alley, narrowly missing a stray dog. We raced down a few alleys to throw Smoky off our tail and then made our way back home. Pablo and I shared our six pack with a security guard at a picnic table a block from my resort, and when we were all done I said my goodbyes and headed for bed. I was adventured out for the night, and desperately needed sleep. The previous night's had not been restful. At an all inclusive resort you wake up and drink. Some days I woke up, got drunk, realized I was unfit to be in public and went back to bed. I would sleep for an hour or so and try again. Some days I did this three or four times before I could manage to stay up. That second day was a three napper. Again I don't remember what I did in the evening, but that night I was out trying to find Pablo. He was not around. I had a twenty dollar bill burning a hole in my pocket that wasn't nearly as big as the hole in my stomach that only a taco could fill, or the hole in my heart that only sharing a scooter with another man on the streets of Cancun could mend.
