65.3 Ways to Die

I received a gift a few days ago. It was the gift of Speed. Well, it was more like the gift of the Knowledge of Speed. I got a speedometer for my bike. It’s like a little bike computer. It records my trip/overall mileage, RPM, and most importantly, Speed, Average Speed, and Maximum Speed. I don’t think it will come as a surprise to anybody that the first thing I did was ride to the top of the nearest hill to see how fast I could go down it. I did a couple of runs before dark and got up to 54.8 km/h, but I wasn’t quite satisfied with that result. I knew there was more in me. The next day I went to a bigger, longer hill, and by the time I reached bottom I had achieved a blistering 62.6 km/h, but that still wasn’t quite enough. I knew there was still more speed in me, so this morning, on the way to work, I bombed that same hill again. For much of it I rested, reserving energy for the final burst at the end, where the gradient is greatest, but I had a time to beat, so as I rounded the last corner I ignored the fact that there is a crosswalk at the bottom, and that the last time I careened down that hill some guy thought it was a good idea to cross in front of me. I forgot about the evasive maneuvers required not to cut him in two as he mimicked the proverbial chicken. I was going for speed. To Hell with consequences. Ducking down to reduce wind resistance, I let the harnessed adrenaline shoot through my veins like anabolic cobra venom. The wind whistled deafeningly in my ears, tears streamed from my eyes, my fingers went numb with cold, locked in a deathgrip on the handlebars, all while my legs pumped the pedals like a steam locomotive out of control. If anybody had decided to cross that walk today I probably couldn’t have grabbed the brakes if I’d wanted to, and at the speed I was going they wouldn't have done any good anyway.

Once I’d done darting in and out of downtown traffic I cycled through the many options on my new bike computer to find my Max Speed, and discovered that I had beat my personal best by almost 3 km/h. My new record is 65.3 km/h, and now that I’m in the top half of the 60’s, I’m gunning for 70. There’s a hill, known around these parts as the Big Dipper, that just might be steep enough for me to break the 70 km/h mark. Of course then I’ll have to beat that record, but there are always steeper hills, and an endless supply of harnessed adrenaline. Besides, if I don’t one up myself, who will?