False Advertising

I was feeling lonely last night, so I went to the video store. I wanted a...special video. A naked video. I wanted to watch people doing each other. As usual I was browsing by title, because in the past I've found the best way to pick an adult video is by its name. Ignore the pictures. All adult movies have the same pictures on the box; some dude in some chick with a big star over their junk so you can't see anything. It tells you nothing. Porno titles are the most clever movie titles there are. There's something about being in the creepiest business around that makes people imaginative, so you know the movie must be good. Anyway, I went home with Bedknobs and Broomsticks. Major disappointment.

Editor's note: I'm at Dan's